Solitude of the Leader

George Koukis Speaks Personally on
Why High-Impact Leaders Go Beyond Making Peace with the Quiet

In 1979, I received my Technical Diploma in Commerce from the University of Technology in Sydney. During my time there, and for the rest of my adult life, I have voraciously consumed materials on a range of topics related to business (as well as myriad other subjects I found fascinating or important). While I have always valued my university experience for the knowledge and skills it gave me, much of what I know has been entirely self-taught, gained by devouring any resources I could find on academic subjects that ranged from accounting to algebra to statistics and commercial law.

Over the years, I’ve learned the theories of “Perfect Competition,” “Game Theory,” the “Concept of Average,” and other valuable notions. I’ve applied my knowledge of such areas throughout my career, and I’m certain that this external learning has significantly contributed to the successes I’ve had as a businessman and entrepreneur.

But more fundamental than any individual topic or skill or area of specialization, I am just as certain that the core of what ties me to my integrity—to the values that keep my actions consistent with the principles I hold true—is time I have spent alone—in solitude and quiet.

I know also that at the time in my life when I learned my greatest and hardest lesson—the one time I mistakenly focused on money for its own sake and paid the consequence of losing everything material I had at the time—I was caught up in an unending “buzz” about how to acquire more, and more, and more money.

This incessant “noise” of greed came from virtually everyone around me—and I had allowed no quiet moments to pause and reflect. No time alone to “feel” the disconnect between what I was doing and who I wanted to be. No solitude to save me from my baser self.

Since that time, one reason I have been able to not only maintain integrity with what I believe to be true and ethical—but also to be bold and ultimately successful—is that I recognized early on that solitude is capable of delivering two distinct yet tightly connected states of being for a leader—peace and fortitude. Once I could see that connection, I understood that solitude was powerful—and empowering. I have always felt that a leader is, in a sense, always alone, and I have always felt comfortable with myself. Over time spent in solitude, as a leader, I have become my own best friend.

Solitude and silence show where there are tensions that should be addressed—where something might not be be properly aligned with who we are and what we believe—but they also provide the opportunity for a level of focus—and even dreaming—that could never happen in the presence of others.

Acts of greatness, I believe, are first borne in moments of solitude.

Such moments have been, for me, the means by which I have built myself up—from the inside out—while at the same time confirming that my direction and dreams and actions remain closely in tune with who I am, what I believe to be right, and what I want my legacy to be.

 Practical Application for Ethical Leadership

Leveraging Solitude to Access Peace, Clarity, and Strength for What Lies Ahead

Understanding and embracing the solitude that must accompany ethical leadership presents at least two substantial challenges for many of the fast-paced individuals who find themselves at the top of an organization, responsible for guiding it into the future. The first has to do with how easy it is for these high energy, “always on” overachievers to be distracted, in a sense, by everything external going on around them.

Most such individuals have arrived where they are through endless activity and effort, so as leaders, there is both momentum and temptation to be constantly engaged in the continual flow of people and activities related to what we are responsible for—what we’re working diligently to make happen. It’s easy, in fact, to be pulled into this never-ending current of engagement and activity without even noticing—it is, perhaps, the default position at which we arrive when have not determined intentionally to do something else.

For leaders, the “pull” of our attention and actions toward all the external things happening in our businesses and organizations is a round-the-clock reality that can appear with a sense of urgency that is difficult to dismiss or divest ourselves of. And while ideally we would surround ourselves with capable, committed individuals who can be trusted to handle much of what rolls up to us, the tendency remains to believe “as a leader these matters are my responsibility—I must remain at all times engaged.”

Nonetheless, the truth remains for those of us pursuing ethical leadership. Unless a leader is intentional and deliberate about having time alone, in solitude—time that is not attached to exchanges with other people or activities—it will become easy to lose the very connection that grounds us as leaders and acts at once as wise counsel and cheerleader for our biggest dreams and ideas.

The second challenge many leaders encounter has to do with the nature of solitude itself. When we say “solitude,” it is important to note that we mean more than “being alone.” To embrace solitude as a leader means embracing and being present in the quiet in order to “hear” or connect with what is inside—with our internal compass.

And here again, there are two aspects to be considered. The first is that we must be “present” for our inner selves in order to sense whether there is internal tension between who we are and what is going on (or about to be going on) outside us—in our businesses and organizations.

This is similar perhaps to a mother or father or wife or husband who comes home from work and must decide what comes next. When they arrive home, they are physically in the same space as family members who need them, but they can choose to be distracted by what has already happened or what is about to happen at work. On the other hand, they can—upon returning home—be intentional about being present and engaged in the moment for the people they care for. Solitude for the leader can require this same level of intention and discipline about demanding that we be “present”—the difference of course is that the person we are being present for is ourself—our inner self.

But there is another reason solitude is essential for ethical leaders whose aim is to achieve greatness—these quiet moments are the times when we are able to think—and even dream—without the influence of anything outside us. We might have advisors at work or family members—in either case, people who likely care a great deal for us—but in wanting the best for us, they can shrink what we are capable of achieving, inadvertently narrowing the bounds of what “seems reasonable or safe” for us to imagine or dream.

As leaders, we know with certainty that greatness lies just on the other side of what most of those around us deem possible (or sane). Thus, to dream of “greatness,” the dreamer must first be granted the sufficient depth and breadth of imagination and inspiration to arrive at “the impossible”—a state most easily reached beyond the frenzied fray—in quiet, with an audience of one.

Leaders able to embrace solitude, then, will find themselves able to fully imagine and clarify the dreams they have the potential to achieve, while also drawing strength and fortification for the tasks ahead—emboldened and more certain of themselves, and better able to articulate and model those dreams for the individuals they lead.